Hermit Issues

I don't know what else to call this but lately I've been hanging out in the library a lot because I only have three classes from now until graduation, but I feel like the more I hang out there the more I become socially awkward. As if I wasn't enough. It doesn't exactly help that my friends barely come to school because they're studying. I don't blame them or anything it just doesn't help that I lost that comfort circle of people. Now I leave the library and I see people and I just feel so out of place and nervous and anxious. I order my sandwich for lunch and I feel like the teachers in the snack bar are scrutinizing my every move. So I stand there like, Ok Cari, just put your bag down on that table, no one's gonna take it, no one's gonna think your weird, it's just a bag, not a bomb or anything. Seriously any time I leave my bag unattended now I feel like someone is going to think I left a bomb, I have no idea why, I usually just leave my bag wherever. Now I especially hate lunch time because that's when all the people are out and about causing havoc among the school, the idiotic middle schoolers in particular. I try to avoid normal lunch time as much as possible, which is easy because I have no classes before or after lunch. I can either take a late or early lunch. But today I have to see all of them because my brother has my lunch, damn.

Right now I'm sitting in the high school IB study room and there are about five people in here including me and I still feel out of place, like I shouldn't be here. And I know these people, they're perfectly nice people. I just don't feel like I can enjoy scrolling through tumblr or watching youtube videos in here, like everyone knows what I'm doing. I'm not even looking at anything bad.

I think I just like to be alone especially now when everyone is stressing about their finals, I like to stay away from that. In my far corner in the library I'm all alone most of the time and it's nice and cold and there's a little sofa seat that I can sit on when I feel like writing and put my feet up and relax. The reason I've been thinking a lot about people also might be because I have had the minimal amount of human contact at my school. So I haven't talked to anyone which causes my mind to roam like crazy, I think I might be going crazy. But who cares, I like my corner of solitude, for now. I'll talk to people later.

This Hermit Crab definitely represents me right now, plus it's so cute I had to post it :)